The Way It Should Have Been
by KittiofDOOM
Summary: He shouldn't have died from my foolish mistake. I should be the one that died. That's the way it should have been.


_The Way It Should Have Been_

It should have been different.

He shouldn't have died.

It should have been me.

To feel the cold embrace of death.

That beckoning hand reaching out for me.

I should have taken it. Taken it and ran. Ran from my problems, ran from my fears, my hopes, my dreams. I Ran from my past, ran from my future. I ran from death.

What was I thinking?

Me a sniper? That's a good one. I'm barely a marine. I'm just a stupid girl. A stupid girl that made stupid mistakes and that cost a life.

No.

Not any life.

_His _life.

My Hero's life. My idol's life. One foolish mistake. A stupid mistake. A mistake only a baby just out of camp could make.

And now he's gone.

I should blame the Spartan, he started this all. He started this when he shot the Brute in cold blood; they were our allies, they wished no harm on us. And then when he turned on that poor Jackal, I had to step in. We all did. I raised my rifle at him as a warning.

And that's when I ruined everything.

I was shaking, shaking so much I pulled the trigger. The bullet didn't do much damage, just grazed the Spartan's armour.

But still the damage was done.

The Spartan turned his shotgun aimed and ready to shoot. I dived behind my idol and ran, I fled, like the coward I was. I ran through the trees, never looking back.

I was a fool. I _am _a fool. What am I doing here, playing solider? I should just go back home where I belong. I have nothing to contribute to this war. I have no talents, no skills. And now because of my mistake he was dead.

I shouldn't be here.

I should never have enlisted.

I shouldn't even be alive.

I should've died when I was 15. I should be nothing but a rotting corpse in the ground.

But something showed me pity. Be it fate, destiny, God. I don't know, but I curse them. They should have let me die. Life would flow so much smoother without me. I would never have been sent to military school. I would never have enlisted for the UNSC. And I would never have gotten the foolish notion of me becoming a sniper.

And _he_ wouldn't have died.

My Hero, my Idol, my inspiration. Lance Corporal Nigel 'Niles' Osborne. He was the type of sniper I wanted to be. He was the type of solider I wanted to be. I saw him shoot once. It was an amazing sight. He took out an Elite sniper with ease. Even under all the pressure. I will never forget that moment.

Oh how I wish I was more like him. Just to be a tiny bit like him would be a dream come true. But I will never be like him. I'm a fool to think that I could be like him. That's a disgrace to his memory.

The way it should have been…

That Spartan should have killed me. He should have broken _my_ body and shattered _my _bones. _My _blood should be staining the grass. Not Niles'. I have escaped Death twice now. Twice now he has almost wrapped his bony hands around my throat. Twice now I've beaten him. Somehow, someway, I've beaten him. I don't know when my luck will run out, but I pray it is soon. I pray for the day I die.

If I could I would do it myself.

It's an easy thing to do. Just grab a blade and drag it across my wrist, over my old scar. My failure.

But no, I'm too much of a coward to do that now. I don't know what's happened to me but even if I did have the blade in my hand, I couldn't end my life. Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. I don't have the strength to do it.

I am denied my only release. Pain. I can't, I just can't.

And I think I know why.

If I die here Niles sacrifice would be in vain. His death would mean nothing. To kill myself after he saved me, that would be the biggest insult to his memory.

No.

I will fight.

I will become one of the best damn snipers the UNSC has ever had. I don't care how long it takes me, one year or ten years. It could take me half my life, I don't care. I will do it. And I will avenge Niles death. I will find that Spartan again. Somehow, someway, someday. That Spartan will die.

Hector-011 will die.

My name is Catherine Elizabeth Silvers and I **will **have my revenge.

* * *

**RIP Niles, you shall be dearly missed.**

**Niles belongs to my good friend I.H**

**and Hector Belongs to my other good friend Exilo**

**This is my little Tribute to one of my favorite characters in the Halo RP. **

**May He rest in peace. **


End file.
